Orgasm Without Erection

You can get just as much pleasure from a soft penis as you can from an erect one. While flaccid, your penis still has sensitive nerve endings that can be stimulated by rolling the shaft of the penis gently between your fingers, resulting in orgasm.

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Gareth Thomas

Welsh Rugby player Gareth "Alfie" Thomas is the most capped rugby player and the first Welshman to win 100 international caps in rugby union. Thomas came out on December 19, 2009 to the praise and surprise of gay rights activists because he came out while still playing the game.

"What I choose to do when I close the door at home has nothing to do with what I have achieved in rugby," he said. "I'd love for it, in 10 years' time, not to even be an issue in sport, and for people to say: 'So what?'," Thomas said.

Thomas, born on July 25, 1974, previously played fullback, wing or center for the Cardiff Blues before joining the Crusaders in the European Super League.

In a series of media interviews since his announcement, Gareth Thomas talks about life after coming out.

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I Like Older Gay Men

Dear Mona,

I have a dilemma that is keeping me stuck in neutral. I am predominantly attracted to older men sexually, but I have in my mind's eye a future with someone closer to my age. I feel these attitudes are very much at odds. I can not see myself not being fired up sexually with a partner. I don't want to be looking outside of my relationship for hot sex. I want it to be part of my relationship...I am afraid that I carry some shame into this situation. maybe it is lack of courage to be with an older man (I am 37 in Colorado). maybe I don't want to find out the root of my attraction - that whole daddy/father thing... That is very spooky to me. I would love some advice. Thanks.

Dear Sweet Tooth,

Being attracted to older men is not problematic, as long as you are of legal age–which you are. There is no need to to get hung up on what others may think. Don't fall into the trap of chasing the fountain of youth. Some gay men feel that younger is better, but reality dictates that attractions come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Ultimately, a happier you takes precedence over the need to conform.

Sometimes, in life you have to take chances. The relationship experience may be worth the potential sacrifice. If you still can not see yourself in a serious relationship with an older man, it may simply be a fetish. If this is the case, you can remain faithful to someone closer to your own age by indulging in porn that satisfies your desire for older men. If you find yourself growing close to a significantly older man, just enjoy it and let yourself be happy in the relationship.

Yours in love,
Mona

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Top 10 Questions About Gay Sex

Dear Mona,

About 8 months ago my partner and I began having sexual encounters with other men, with the agreement that we did it together. Then his sexual energy for me started to change. Now, he has no desire to have sex with me alone. However, if there is a third person involved, his sexual drive is strong. He says he's working through some relationship issues. Other than sex, we agree that our relationship is strong. What should I do?

Dear Third Wheel,

Nothing good comes in threes- tires, shoes or relationships. Threesomes always sound like a good idea when our partnered sex lives dwindle, but few of us actually address the real reason for the sexual lag. Instead we venture off into the bed of a temporary solution and ultimately the catalyst for a break up.

The mere fact that you decided to have an open relationship with terms says that either one or both of you wasn't completely satisfied... read more

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Dr. Raynard S. Kington

Raynard S. Kington, M.D., M.B.A., Ph.D., the deputy director of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), is the 13th president of Grinnell College, a liberal arts college in Iowa. In 2006, Dr. Kingstoin was elected to the Institute of Medicine of the National Academy of Sciences, where he currently serves as the chair of the Section on Administration of Health Services, Education and Research. He's also served as associate director of NIH for Behavioral and Social Sciences Research and acting director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

At the age of 16, Dr. Kington entered a combined undergraduate-medical school program at the University of Michigan that allowed him to earn his B.S. when he was 19 and his M.D. when he was just 21 years old. He subsequently completed his residency in Internal Medicine at Michael Reese Medical Center in Chicago.

Dr. Kingston is openly gay and the father of two.

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Top Myths About Bi Men

The nature of bisexuality is easily misunderstood by both gays and straight people. The thought of a person that is attracted to both men and women can be confusing, especially within cultural models that classify sexuality as either one or the other. The middle voids the entire concept of sexuality as being fluid, instead of learned or defined. Plus, some use their misunderstanding of the concept of bisexuality to label themselves bi, when in fact they are in the process of accepting another form of sexuality. These things can lead to misconceptions about the validity of bisexuality and, in turn, the devaluation of bisexual people.

Below are myths commonly associated with bisexual men and women: Myth: Bisexuality Is Only A Phase
Many bisexual people feel limited by the thought of being attracted to only a man or a woman. Their attractions, both physical and emotional, to the individual take precedence over the need to partner with just men or women. Discovering one's bisexuality happens by the same process as coming out in any other form of sexuality. Bisexual experiences may happen for people that are discovering their sexuality, even though they are not bisexual. So, it is common to view the experiences of actual bisexual people as just a phase.
Myth: Bisexual People Are Just Confused
Bisexual people embody the true nature of fluid sexuality. This is not to say that they "sway" back and forth," but that there are varying degrees of bisexuality. Some bisexual people "lean straight," as it's called, meaning they prefer a member of the opposite sex, but same-sex partners are an option. Others "lean gay," or the exact opposite. Their preferences are no more a choice than those of straight, gay or asexual people.
Myth: Bisexuals Are Promiscuous
Twice the options, twice the fun, some may think—a thought which often places bisexuality as a synonym to promiscuity. However, the process to find a partner for dating, sex, or a relationship is the same for bisexual individuals as it is for others. The number of viable partners does not make one any more or less promiscuous. Each individual, bisexual or not, conducts their dating life based on their person standard, whatever they may be.

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Turn a Straight Guy Gay

Dear Mona,

I am a 16 year old gay High School student and I am deeply crushing on this guy in my section in marching band. There are some signs he is gay. I see him checking me out when he thinks I'm not looking. I would love to know the best way to turn him gay, or at least get him to like me. Can you help me with this? I just love him ever so much!

Dear Drummer Boy,

I'm an ex band geek so I'll spare you the band jokes and jump right into one of the hottest Broadway musicals, Wicked, based on the favorite tale, Wizard of Oz.

Did you know the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't always evil? Elphaba (the birth name of the previously mentioned witch) had every intention of using her magic powers to make the world a better place- finding love for her sister (correctly guessed as the Wicked Witch of the East) and saving her love crush from a tragic end. The result of her screw up was the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. Later frustrated that her attempts at creating her own fantasy miserably failed, Elphaba vowed a life of evil. Of course, there is way more to the story, but the moral here is that you can save yourself a lot of grief by letting the natural course of things unfold. By trying to save your crush from a devastating straight fate you may end up losing your own self-esteem.

Many gay men try to use their powers of queer persuasion to create the ideal love fantasy. They become preoccupied with the quest of turning the seemingly impossible into the utterly tragic.

We all wish we could wave a wand and turn our crush into lust, but even if it were possible, would you want it that way? Let's shift the focus from the impossible (which is turning him gay) to the practical (finding out if he is gay through friendship).

There are no definite signs that disclose a person's sexuality. So, the best plan of attack here is to gain his trust as a friend. You say he looks in your direction, then strike up a conversation. Talk about that cool new Astroturf on the football field or how ridiculous piccolos look marching with those tiny instruments. Any excuse to start a friendship. Once you get to know him, you'll soon discover whether you desire a deeper friendship or not. You don't have to come out to him right away, but you should eventually disclose your intentions.

Of course, you love him so and want him now, but have a little patience. If he shares your feelings, he'll return the sentiment. If he's gay, you'll eventually know when he's ready for you to know. Until then keep your wand in your pants and stay in line.

Yours in love,
Mona

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